Suffocation By Influence
You’re 22 years old and you have this great idea or a big goal, but you don’t act on it. Now you’re 30 with the same great idea and big goal. You make a little traction but it stalls. Now you’re 38, you’re living on the hamster wheel of life, doing what it is you think you are supposed to do. Your mindset has now shifted. You think that big goal has passed you by and the idea will just never happen.
So, what happened?
What prevented you from ever acting on this great idea or big goal wasn’t motivation – it was influence. You didn’t surround yourself with enough people that supported your dreams and pushed you to go after them. You let your environment of being judge by friends and family and fear of disappointment hold you back.
Human beings are inherently social beings, and our relationships with our family and friends play a crucial role in shaping our thoughts, behaviors, and overall well-being. It’s these relationships that control a large majority of the decisions we make. It can limit us and restrict us but it can also propel us.
You can be influenced by various things around you; social media, celebrities, etc., but it is the people closest to you who hold the greatest power of influence. It’s called the power of proximity. Family members and close friends have an intimate understanding of who you are and can significantly impact your decisions, values, and can influence personal growth.
The people closest to you have an inherent advantage when it comes to influencing your life. Proximity allows them to observe and understand you on a deeper level, giving them insights into your fears, dreams, strengths, and vulnerabilities. This knowledge makes their opinions and comments more impactful on the decisions you make. This means that their support, positivity and words mean the most to you and have a massive impact on your self-confidence and self-belief. Because their influence can be both positive and negative it can change the direction of your life and what makes you happiest.
It’s important to recognize that this exists in your life and to not allow it to slowly suffocate your big ideas and goal until you lose hope altogether.
The people closest to you, the ones you care about most, aren’t going anywhere. Even if someone passes away, they will never leave your circle of support. Both of my parents passed way too early but I still want to do things to make them proud or prove them wrong. Your family is your family and your close friends are close for a reason, but understand this: they may never support your ideas and goals and that’s OK. You will get that support elsewhere.
It’s important to cultivate positive connections outside of your circle of support. You can do this in a number of ways:
Common Values: Find people that share values and beliefs outside of your circle. This is a group you can have meaningful conversations with, exchange ideas, and challenge each other to grow. These shared values create a sense of unity and support in pursuing your great ideas or big goals.
Role Models: Seek out a role model. Find someone that encourages you to pursue all of your big ideas and dreams. This person will inspire you to be the best version of you and help deflect any negative thoughts you may have about yourself. Observe their achievements, persistence, resilience, and passions that keep them moving forward without being concerned with judgements or cynics. Adopt your version of their positive qualities and constructive behaviors.
Cultivate Positive Supporters: Surround yourself with people who inspire, uplift, and support your growth … but don’t know you. Do this by listening to self-help podcasts, motivational speakers, podcasts or audiobooks from people who you can relate to. Listen to them every single day. This will start to change your environment. Your environment overrides almost everything in your life. If your environment doesn’t support what you are trying to accomplish then create that environment yourself. Find people and success stories that you can relate to. Eat those stories up and don’t stop until you have hardwired yourself to succeed in spite of all the doubters and skeptics.
Because people closest to you wield significant influence over your life, you have to recognize the power of proximity and consider the impact your close connections have on your thoughts, behaviors, and overall environment. By creating relationships with people who share similar goals, finding role models who inspire you and cultivating a positive environment, you have created a powerful inner circle that will foster personal growth, real happiness and a life fulfilled.
The bonds you form with the people in your life will shape your journey. Choose your relationships wisely and surround yourself with those who inspire and support what you aspire to do. Additionally, eliminate the things and people in your life that have become a major distraction, do not support you and cloud you with negativity. This doesn’t mean eliminate them for good, this just means see a lot less of them. You have to improve your environment and your chances of changing your circumstances. Denzel Washington once said: “You’ll never be criticized by someone doing more than you. You’ll always be criticized by someone doing less.”
Lastly, even if you’re in a bad relationship, this applies to you. Maybe you don’t think you can get anyone better or they are financially supporting you. I assure you there is someone better out there. You can keep living the life you’re living on that rusty hamster wheel and keep hoping things will change or you can slowly start that change yourself. Put yourself in the position to be ready when that opportunity comes. You don’t need luck. Luck is when preparation meets opportunity.
Life is a long drive down the coast that is full of obstacles and delays, but if you do it right, you can take that drive with the greatest people in your life, and, if you’re lucky, you can see it all the way to the end.
